Shallow Breathing
by Aarika
Summary: Skimming the surface of life, a simple existance. Can it really be called living?


**SHALLOW BREATHING**

By: AaarikaaA

Rating: PG

Pairings: none

.

He breathed in deeply, producing a rough, gasping sound with the simple action. His breath slowed and he relaxed as his knees gave out under him. He surveyed the area with cool detachment.

The evening sun was setting, and colours were cast across the sky like light from a stained-glass window. The long shadows of the trees stretched across the clearing. He could hear the light wind gently rustling the leaves and making the grass dance. Everything was in its place. Except for him. Except for the stench of death and the corpse lying a few meters away from him. The body was still as an artist's canvas as the blood and dirt were drying.

The man he had pursed for so many years in jealousy and rage was finally dead. Even as he stared at his lifeless corpse, Sasuke was still in disbelief. But all things draw to a close at some point.

The years he had spent training, gaining the addictive drug of power, seemed to blur together, like they were on fast forward. All that was left were a few mental images and fragmented memories of his childhood, his family, Konoha, and team seven, and those were carefully stored away in the back of his memory to be forgotten.

Sasuke was always good at forgetting things.

He had forgotten his happiness, his morals, his village. His parents had even faded from his memory over the years. He had forgotten those who he was avenging. But by the time he had realized it, he was too angry, too immersed in hate and fear of failure to even consider what he was doing and think about letting go. Yes, Sasuke was a little too good at forgetting things.

He had forgotten his village, his friends. He had made the wrong choices and chosen to live in the past. He had forgotten all the good things that had happened in the village because of a few moments of unhappiness. The memories of his empty house and the crushing loneliness he had felt had seemed just so much bigger, so much more overwhelming back them.

But Sasuke had lived selfishly for too long. He was a traitor, a deserter, a criminal. He was cold, manipulative, and unfeeling. He was everything an avenger should be. He'd passed the point of no return. He couldn't just stop living the way he did and go back to normal. He couldn't just pretend that everything was like it had been all those years ago.

All he had now was the big, empty and slowly decaying house that he couldn't even return to. He would never be welcome in Konoha again. He had ruined all his chances of a good life and his friends had deserted him or destroyed themselves trying to help him. Maybe under different circumstances he and Naruto would have stayed as friends instead of becoming bitter rivals. Maybe under different circumstances he wouldn't have been so cold to Sakura. Maybe under different circumstances, Kakashi would have been his mentor instead of Orochimaru. Maybe under different circumstances he would have stayed in Konoha, given up on his cold attitude and realized that he had something to gain by living his life without hate. Maybe under different circumstances he wouldn't have made all those choices the same way.

But those were not things that Sasuke liked to think about, or at least that's what he told himself. He was too good at forgetting important things like that.

The sun was dipping lower and lower beyond the horizon and the brilliant colours had faded into the dull grey of night. The sky was steadily darkening as the wind picked up, racing through the trees. It was enough to rustle the leaves a little bit more and rip a few of them off their perches to be carried away, tumbling end over end across the ground. The blades of grass became more frantic in their primitive dance, as if the they were trying to rip themselves out of the earth by their roots. Everything was in its place. Except for Sasuke. He had always been misplaced and now wasn't any different.

Sasuke got to his feet and walked over to kneel beside the body. The memories of the person who used to live within the now empty body would fade. Memories of good times would go and all the things that Sasuke wished he could have said to him before he killed him would stagnate and fall away. The decay of thought would eventually reach those troubling musings about how things could have turned out had it been a little different.

Sasuke reached out and closed the unseeing blue eyes. He would eventually forget how those looked too and how sad it was to see them without spirit, lacking the passion for life and determination that the man used to embody.

"I'm sorry Naruto."

Was the power of the Mangekyou Sharingan really worth the loss of your best friend? Maybe not, but Sasuke had forgotten why. The memories of the long lost friendship were buried deep beneath the piles of mental debris. And with enough persistence he might eventually convince himself that Naruto had been nothing more than an annoying rival.

He turned and walked away, empty corpse behind him, with a chillingly unfeeling look on his face that had been perfected over the many years.

Sasuke wasn't finished living selfishly just yet.

.

.: When you break something and try to glue it back together, the pieces never fit quite right :.


End file.
